


Shifting Blame

by 13eylla



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Faked Suicide, I mean it's Sherlock so you should know, Implied/Referenced Suicide, John blamed himself for Sherlock's death, M/M, Mrs. Hudson is a total cock-block, Post-Reichenbach, Well I mean pretty much -- it's right after John says his thing at Sherlock's grave, gay af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13eylla/pseuds/13eylla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After John's heartfelt speech, our favorite consulting detective has to come back. How could he ignore a blatant request and hope such as "don't be dead" from the man he most cares about in the world?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shifting Blame

"You... you told me once that you weren't a hero. Umm, there were times I didn't even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, an' the most human... human being that I've ever known, and no-one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. That's, so, there. I was so alone, and I owe you so much, but, please, there's just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don't... be... dead. Would you, just for me, just stop it? Stop this." John paused for a moment, waiting, believing that maybe his request could be answered. He was familiar with all of the shit that Sherlock had pulled before, and hoped that this just might be one of those stunts.  
After a few moments, he pulled away from the tombstone. He was there. He had seen the detective's still-warm body on the ground, felt his lifeless wrist, and been pulled away. Even if it had all become a blur, he remembered the sight of blood pooling on the cement; remembered the feeling of Sherlock's body growing cold in his hands; remembered the screeching of the ambulance that took away the most important man in his life.  
The doctor turned around, attempting to clear his head along with his throat. As he walked away, he heard his name called out. He looked back, to see exactly the man that he had asked for. There was Sherlock Holmes, running past his own tombstone to embrace John. He couldn't move. As certain as he was of his memories, he could also feel warm arms wrapped around him, and his face shoved into a familiar navy scarf.  
John was frozen still as Sherlock pulled away from him, keeping his hands on his arms. The two looked at each other, John simply couldn't tear his eyes away; he had to be certain that this was real. He stood there blinking, until he finally raised one hand and slapped Sherlock directly across the face.  
"I suppose I deserved that," he said, rubbing the redness out of his cheek. "I would have contacted you sooner-"  
The detective was cut off by John suddenly yanking him down by his collar, forcing their lips to meet. Sherlock didn't hesitate as he brought a hand to either side of John's face, as if trying to flood all of his emotions into the other.  
Sherlock had it set in his mind that he would come and listen so that he could have something to hold on to, and then leave to wherever he was going. But, when he heard John, the man that he had loved for so long, he couldn't take it. He had to answer, had to let him know, had to show him that he cared. Sherlock hadn't exactly planned on kissing him like that so soon, but he was not one to complain.  
John broke away with a blush, looking away, and then slowly let go of the now wrinkled shirt collar. Sherlock, however, put his hand on his chin, tilting his face back up towards his. When John's eyes finally left the horizon, he looked up to see a smirk dancing on Sherlock's lips before he brought their mouths together again.  
John relaxed into their kiss, tangling his hand with the other's.

A call of Doctor Watson's name along with an exasperated yell separated the two, John quickly pulling his mouth and hand away, a blush painting his cheeks furiously. Mrs. Hudson came running over, arms swinging like a little girl. Tears welled up in her eyes as she hugged Sherlock, saying "Thank goodness you're okay! Oh, dear, what would London have done without you?" She turned to address John, "And I bet you're glad that your boyfriend is back. I can't even imagine."  
John opened his mouth, beginning to retort, "He's not-" before quickly closing it and shoving his hands in his pockets.

\-----

The three arrived back at Baker Street, Mrs. Hudson having invited them for tea and inevitably snacks. After the other two had gone in, John hesitated a moment before entering, looking up at the window into his old home. He let out a silent breath, looking straight ahead and continuing into the small building. Mrs. Hudson went to make some tea and "nibbles" in her kitchen, leaving John and Sherlock in the sitting room of her flat.  
"You've stopped living here." Sherlock said suddenly. He had already sat down into a chair, elbows on the armrests and hands tented under his chin. He was looking up at John, eyes following his every move.  
The doctor cleared his throat, awkwardly looking around the flat. "Yes, well, you couldn't expect me to stay in the place where my /dead best friend/ used to live."  
Sherlock simply rolled his eyes, quickly moving towards irritability. "You know that if I could have contacted you, I would have."  
John's face took the shape of absolute malcontent, his tone reflecting that. "Really, Sherlock? You couldn't even leave a note or someth-"  
"Of course not. My god its barely been a month and I've already forgotten how I have to explain things to you lot." Sherlock began on his string of justifications for why he couldn't do this or that, and the risk that he had taken just to be with him at that moment.  
John, of course, was having none of that bullshit, refuting his every word. Did Sherlock just not care about the emotional trauma that he had put him through? Did he think that his death wouldn't effect anyone or anything?

By the time that Mrs. Hudson had come back into the room, the two men were standing, yelling into each other's faces. John's finger pointing and Sherlock's arms flailing in wild motions. The lady tried to get their attention, only managing once she yelled "BOYS!" causing both men's heads to quickly turn to her, taken aback by her shout. She proceeded to calmly set down a tray of tea and snacks on a table, and sat down on her couch. John sat next to her, Sherlock returning to his previous seat.  
"You were dead, Sherlock." John stated, his voice very quiet. "You jumped off of a building and I couldn't stop you." He looked up, directly into the detective's eyes. "I couldn't save you."  
Sherlock waited a moment before speaking. He took in the dark circles under John's eyes along with his slouched position that was such a juxtaposition to his usual alertness. He hadn't been sleeping well, too busy tearing himself apart over Sherlock's apparent death.  
Sherlock's breathing changed as he realized that it was truly his fault. He sat forward in his chair. "John," he tried to think of his words carefully, knowing how insensitive he could be. "It isn't your fault. I didn't truly kill myself, obviously, but you don't need to feel blame."  
"But I didn't know that! I didn't know that you were out there somewhere, that it was all just an elaborate bloody ruse." John flexed and clenched his hands, leaving them in fists against his lap. His eyes began to feel the push of tears as he finally addressed what he had been feeling over the past month. "How was I supposed to know that you were alive? You didn't tell me in any way, and I'm not quite the master of deductions, am I? You should have told me."  
Sherlock blinked a few times, then uttered a quick, "I'm sorry."  
It took everything in John's power not to accept instantly with the sheer unfamiliarity of Sherlock apologizing. The two sat there in silence, staring at one another, John sitting back and Sherlock seeming to lean forward in anticipation. Mrs. Hudson, the seemingly forgotten woman in the room, got up to leave the room, giving some sort of excuse. Sherlock motioned as she left, standing once she was gone. "John," the detective said seriously, approaching him. "I apologize." John simply adjusted in his seat, crossing his arms. "Forgive me."  
John let out a breath. "It isn't that simple- what are you doing?" Sherlock had one hand on the armrest next to John, and was leaning over, close to his face. "Sherlock," the doctor began, but the rest of the sentence got lost in the blush that quickly filled his cheeks.  
Sherlock finally filled the gap between them, placing one hand lightly under John's chin as their lips connected. They closed their eyes, John leaning up and into the kiss.  
Sherlock pulled back after a time, his hand remaining under the other's chin. John cleared his throat, quickly saying, "I forgive you," before standing up to bring them back into a kiss. He allowed himself to be a bit more passionate this time, tilting his head and putting his hands behind Sherlock's neck, bringing the taller man down to his level. John sighed lightly; he was honestly so thankful that Sherlock was alive, the warm skin and hot breath against his own making making all of the reassurances that he needed. Sherlock wrapped his arms around John's waist, pulling him close. They broke apart for a moment, quietly smiling at one another, before deepening the kiss.

"It's gotten awfully quiet in here- oh!" Mrs. Hudson had walked back into the room, not aware of why they had gone so quiet.  
John turned bright red with embarrassment while Sherlock simply nodded to the woman. "Mrs. Hudson," he said, turning towards her, but keeping one arm around the other's waist. John had already retracted his hands to down by his sides, his whole body flushing pink as he pulled away and absconded from the flat, sitting down on the step just outside the door.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?  
> Hopefully I plan to continue with this story - it's my first time working with these characters, and I'm honestly really enjoying it!


End file.
